TheUnstitchd
It’s a trend we’ve felt for a long time but rarely talk about. That the single-male population is increasing and we’re not dealing with it.
Psychology Today ran an article suggesting that with feminism and egalitarianism on the rise, and more women having higher standards in dating, this creates a phenomenon of single and lonely men of all ages who are not adapting well.
The evidence is everywhere, from men overcrowding dating apps (men make 62% of the dating pool online) to the “incel culture” that is now permeating movies, internet forums, and social media niche pages.
Technology hasn’t quite dealt with the problem – more like it exploits it, selling lonely men on concepts like “AI chat bots”, smart tech adult toys, and OnlyFans virtual visits – minus the romance and physical touch.
The world may not be dealing well with the problem…but that certainly doesn’t mean society has left men behind. There are still ways to get back into dating, make a few changes here and there, and enjoy a physical and passionate relationship in the flesh once again.
Let’s talk about the biggest issue first – the arena we choose for dating.
Try Online Dating – Even if You Think It’s Not for You
Some suggest too many men are living with preconceived notions that they’re supposed to meet a beautiful woman by happenstance – and that it’s their job to charm her, seduce her, and persuade her into a relationship, even if she plays hard to get. But the #MeToo movement shed some light on the fact that what men perceive as an opportunity to improve their dating life, women actually see as unwanted harassment.
Most people don’t want to date someone at work, especially a boss. Most people don’t want to be approached at work, by a customer, and forced to be cute, friendly, or flirty in a professional setting.
Ask yourself, if you’ve had difficulty approaching women in public, or at non-dating social events, could this perhaps be the wrong avenue?
If it’s not working, it’s time to try something completely different.
Online dating is much safer and a much more favorable option for men looking for a date. Seeing someone’s online profile means this person is available to date, interested in conversation, and willing to flirt, exchange photos, and meet someone in person.
Using the right kind of dating site is also important. Casual hookup apps like Tinder attract a certain crowd of people interested in hookups, not serious romance.
In contrast, eHarmony and the best Christian sites for dating stress values like personality matching and shared spiritual and life goals.
The Most Common Mistakes in Online Dating
For one thing, many single men make the same mistakes in online dating. And while the “answer” is everywhere, not every man wants to take the time to find it, and improve their dating luck.
Some of the most common mistakes men make in creating dating profiles include:
- Using amateur or strange-looking photos
- Having too short of a profile
- Having a boring profile
- Sounding angry in their profile description
- Talking about themselves rather than “selling” themselves in the ad
- Not being patient
For more on making a better profile, visit Mashable’s article. The last one is especially important. Men who get easily flustered with online dating will inevitably “explode” and end up alienating women who are only responding to the energy he puts forth.
It’s common for a single guy to start a conversation with a boring or short introduction. The woman feels nothing for him. She doesn’t respond favorably.
He feels judged and criticized and so lashes out until she blocks him. Or, he may be kind about her rejection…but then delete the app and never try again.
The key here is to learn to accept rejection, not as a personal criticism, but as simply a neutral shopping experience. If someone really feels they’re not compatible with you, they’re actually doing you a great favor by terminating the date.
They’re saving you lots of heartaches, misunderstood intentions, and wasted months/years, because they just KNOW something is off about the chemistry in the relationship. Take that seriously and don’t take it personally. EVERYONE gets rejected.
Popular people don’t like to admit it, but even they have felt the sting of rejection. It happens and it’s no big deal.
What If You Still Haven’t Met Anybody?
Finally, remember that if you haven’t met anybody in your life yet, the issue is with the life you have built for yourself.
It’s not that YOU personally are undateable.
It’s simply that not enough people know you yet.
The people you’ve met have not been your type.
Your approach to dating is wrong. Your fashion sense is wrong. (Check out some fashion tips for men here!)
Not to mention the locations and apps you’ve used haven’t worked!
But it’s not you, it’s just the way you’re approaching your dating life. That’s why it’s time to change the avenue and change your approach. You will always get different results with a completely different approach,
Change up your dating strategy and you will find better luck in 2023!